Back to work

Well, I am going back to work tomorrow. I can't believe it's been almost 2 months since I've worked. I think I'm ready to go back. But I'm nervous. It feels like I'm starting a new job, even though I already know everyone there. It's kind of strange. I'm still not sure how I will arrange working part time - which of my established clients I will see weekly, which every other week, how many clients per week, etc.

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It feels strange to go back to work where everyone knows what happenned 2 months ago and what I've been through. I'm a pretty private person. So it just feels odd. But I know everyone there is supportive and understanding.

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**sigh** just pre-work jitters...

Further proof that my brain is healing...

After working on an ancient desktop monster of a computer that crashes and freezes at will for two months, I realized something. I have been trying to figure out how to reset the wireless modem/router so that I could bypass the firewall, change the passwords, and get online with my laptop.

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I have tried EVERYTHING for almost 2 months...resetting the modem/router (all in one system). It wouldn't reset and I didn't have the password to access the settings for it. Since it is old, it's not under warranty. I called customer service and they did everything they could, other than having me send it in for service. No luck. I searched all over for the password and couldn't find it anywhere. Today I went to the cable company and got a wireless modem and will have to buy a router soon. I was planning on doing it today.

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Until...

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I realized something.

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I simply unplugged the ethernet cord from the ancient desktop computer and plugged it into my laptop. It tethers me to the modem, but at least I can work on my laptop again!

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I can't believe it took me so long to figure this out...it has to be the brain injury healing. I guarantee you, blogging world, I am NOT that stupid!!!

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Sheesh! :o)

Near Future Plans

Ok, now that I am feeling almost "normal" (for me) and am just about healed physically and emotionally, I am working on my goals. Now, don't get me wrong, the goal I am about to discuss is not new. It was my goal and plan before I married. That goal then changed and was put on hold, for many reasons. But it is time to begin anew.

I am preparing to have a child. I am preparing to have a child on my own, as a single mother. This does not mean that I am neglecting the importance of support, as I have friends and family that are supportive. Nor does it mean that I am neglecting the importance of a male influence in a child's life. Once again, I have friends and family.

We live in a society with an extremely high divorce rate and an extremely low marital satisfaction rate. A child is more likely to be psychologically healthy in a loving single parent home than in an unhappy/unstable dual parent home.

At 38, it is time for me to have a child. I am stable financially, emotionally (other than recent events), and am physically healthy. My biological clock has been ticking for years, but logic overruled. Now logic is aligned with my heart and soul. It is time to pursue a pregnancy.

So, where am I in this process? I have had clearance (physically) from my OBGYN. They are supportive of my decision. I spoke with my doctor and I agree that I really need to wait for a couple of months to ensure that my head injury has completely healed. But beyond that, he is supportive as well. In the meantime, I am tracking my ovulation and choosing a sperm bank to begin the paperwork process.

Until a couple of weeks ago, plans were that LC was going to be the father of my child. But I don't think it is a good idea at this point. It would add complications to an already complicated situation. Besides, he hasn't called me or sent a text in more than a week. So I am inclined to just let it go. I want to focus on myself and my healing right now anyway. LC and I will always have our friendship. But that's all.

Where did Fall go??

I somehow missed all of the beautiful fall colors. I'm sure it had something to do with the crap that was going on and the fact that I have a memory gap of almost three weeks, but still...I really was excited to see how beautiful the colors were here in the Big Horn Mountains. I'm kinda bummed that I need to wait for another year to see them first hand.

While I am a summer girl, I have always enjoyed watching the leaves turn as autumn creeps toward winter. I remember how much I dreaded raking leaves as a child though. We had three huge oak trees in the front yard and mom insisted that every leaf was raked up and bagged before snowfall. She always said that oak leaves were the only leaves that don't decompose and that they would kill the grass if they weren't raked or bagged. It wasn't my job to debate with my mom...I just did my part. Usually. And not always willingly...especially as a teen.

This year, I can't rake. I can't cut the grass. And I actually want to do it! But I will next year.

Something to feel good about...

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Brought to you courtesy of Epi at Pink Warm and Dry (one of my FAVORITE blogs!!)

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Single and happy...

Well, mom left yesterday. I miss her already! I really enjoyed the time we spent together. I believe that it was good for both of us. It was definitely comforting and relaxing for me!

I'm going back to work part time a week from Monday. I am ready to focus on others and help them. And I'm thankful I still have my job to go back to!!

LC...out of respect to him, I won't go into detail right now. But things are in limbo and we are moving towards a friendship at this point moreso than a relationship. I am fine with this, though. I enjoy being single and am currently reorganizing plans to accomplish the goals that I have.

The past few days

They have been good and bad.
I absolutely love having mom here. I feel better day by day. Mom and I are catching up on things, both significant and insignificant. We are going out daily, or just about daily, even if it is just to the store. This allows me to get some exercise, even if it is only for an hour or so.
We went for a drive yesterday that took most of the day. We drove through the mountains, looking at the fall leaves. We went to Medicine Wheel , but it was REALLY cold, so did not spend much time there. There is a winter storm coming, with snow through Monday. No big deal. It's not like I really have anything to do.
I began physical therapy for my headache and hopefully they will diminish soon. Meds are helping, but I still have had a constant headache since "it" happened

There have been some bad things going on recently.
I have a firewall set around my desktop computer. It was also set around my laptop computer. I had to get a new hard drive for my laptop, though. And I can't find the pass code to get back online and through the firewall. This sucks. So I am still stuck using this old desktop computer.
I am also trying to deal with some stuff going on with LC and our relationship. It is not time to post details. But it is adding more stress to my life right now.

That's about it. I'm doing better and better and thank God that things are going so well. I also thank my friends...including you all...for your support, words of encouragements, and positive thoughts!!!!! :o) I Luv u all!

Better and Better

My mom is here and every day I feel a little bit better. I have quite a bit of memory loss from the time of the "incident" until a week ago...things are very spotty. But I think that's normal. Still not sleeping a lot or very well, so am constantly tired (exhausted). Head hurts still. But other symptoms are either MUCH better or gone altogether.

I am looking at going back to work three weeks from Monday. Not full time, but for maybe 20 hours a week to start.

I was looking around today and noticed how beautiful the fall colors are. I am still in no shape to go hiking, but plan on taking my mom for a drive in the mountains this week. It is gorgeous here!

Well, I am off to rest, but wanted to post another update. :o)

What a difference a week makes

Every day I am feeling better. Still having some symptoms, but nothing too serious. Still have MAJOR head pain (duh - it's a concussion!), insomnia, some nausea, and get tired really easy. I still have some memory loss from the past three weeks. But compared to how I felt a week ago...or three weeks ago? It's amazing.

I don't think I'll be out of work for 3 months. Probably a few more weeks, though. I can drive again, but am still not doing a lot. I get tired way too easy to go hiking or to do anything of any substance.

My mom is on her way here. She'll be here sometime tomorrow and will be staying for 2 weeks. It will be awesome to have her here to help and support me. Not that you all aren't supportive...you guys are fantastically supportive!!! But sometimes a gal needs her mama, ya know what I mean? :o)

It's been a scary weekend...

consisting of two pretty good days, all things considered. Translation: My head and wrist still hurt, especially my head. But thought processes and memory are a bit more clear.
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Could this be a pattern? I surely hope so!! :o)
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Now if only there were a solution to pain management that didn't involve so many drugs that I am in a stupor...I did not take narcotic drugs this weekend. This meant more intense pain, but more clarity. I see the doctor tomorrow, so I am hoping that there can be some compromise between the two.