I am typically a very strong person. As a counselor, I am confident in my skills and my ability to help others, to evaluate, to give them what they need. I work well with my clients. I work well with my peers, supervisors, and other disciplines within the community. I am a strong advocate, and can typically get others to hear my views (even when they don't want to). This is my professional hat. I like it and wear it very well.
I find myself struggling with my personal hat. I am having some challenges with my own emotional mental health, especially my self-confidence. Now, let me explain. I am not depressed and am not suffering from any other mental illness. I am getting a divorce and this is a natural reaction to years of not receiving enough or (at times)any positive attention.
My husband and I have not slept in the same bed for about 5 years. We have not had intimate contact in almost a year. We go days without saying more than 10 words and I can't remember the last time he touched me of his own free will.
Yes, we live in the same house. I live in the bedroom and he in the living room. He cooks most of the time and does dishes. We both clean. We do fine as roommates. We now have separate vehicles and separate accounts and are both working full time.
<> but...
It makes me feel sad and it makes me feel ugly and undeserving of more, even when I know that's not true. I have others who are interested in me, but there is still that little voice that says that I am not worth it. I know I am being overly sensitive right now and it sucks.
1 comment:
You are not alone.
I'm going through something similar, yet completely different (if that makes any sense).
I don't have much to say... Just that you're not alone.
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