A working theory on structure

I feel as though I am working on a lifetime graduate thesis or something. The longer I work with "severely emotionally disturbed" (SED) children, the more my thoughts grow and develop regarding the focus of treatment and what best serves the needs of the child.

MY PAST

For the past 3 years, I was grounded in a world where "Rules, Rewards, Consequences, and Structure" are the full focus for SED children. There is only a present focus, for the only need is for compliance in the home, school, and community environment. When and if children refocus on past events, they are to be redirected back to the present. Parents learn to implement structure with children and remain present focused.

THEN

One of the reasons I left that job is because I saw that children had experienced traumas in their past and that these traumas weren't being addressed. Behaviors were being addressed in the present, but because past traumas were not addressed, I was afraid for these children's futures.

NOW

I am now in a position to meet with different SED children and their families and some foster families and to develop my OWN theories. I have seen children from a number of walks of life with a huge number of issues. Some have later brought tears to my eyes...especially one, but that is a story for another post. So, I am forming my own theories from my own experiences, my clients' experiences, my education, my peers' sharings, and my own way of weaving things together.

ME

A quick note about me. I am a "why" person. This is true of me generally, but especially so with my clients. I see a behavior or hear a comment and immediately want to know why. This is typically very effective, because many, many people STOP with a behavior.

EXAMPLE

A child has a behavior (Johnny refuses to get up in the morning to go to school). Mom stops there and gives punishments (yells, screams, threatens, grounds him, etc). I ask why and after a session with mom and Johnny find out that Johnny is being bullied by another child and doesn't know how to deal with it. Had we stopped with the behavior, we never would have addressed the problem.

HYPOTHESIS

Behaviors are not problems. Behaviors are symptoms of problems. This does not mean that behaviors do not need consequences and families do not need structure, but the real problem needs to be identified and addressed.

SED CHILDREN

Because of the trauma(s) they have experienced, many have attachment, trust, and touch issues. These make consequences and structure difficult and challenging, but still necessary. The more important focus for these children just might be on learning to attach and trust and touch.

OVERALL & MY ROLE

Nothing is written in stone and there is no guarantee in life. There is no cookie-cutter fix for a broken child. I don't have all the answers and am the first to admit it. Nobody else does, either, although many are way too confident that they do. But I care and I work to add tools to my toolbox to work with kids and families so that I can do my best to give them what they need to get them back on the right path...their path.