WARNING - This post is not for the faint of heart. It contains sex, violence, and may be difficult to read. It was certainly difficult to write...
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Catch up on Part 1 here.
Part 2
One night, I couldn't stand the isolation anymore. It was about 2am and I figured that the chances of PW being around were minimal. So I left. I was going to walk a block to the corner store and buy munchies. I was trying to figure out what to do. I was hoping my friends could just run him off and life could go back to normal...whatever that was!
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So, I get to the lobby, where the night watch person is, and I go outside. Then I see PW running through the halls toward me. I know I can't outrun him, so I wait. He confronts me in a rage. He is calling me names and saying that I am making up lies about him raping me. I start shouting back, and notice as his fists curl. He shouts at me that his mama didn't raise him to rape a woman, she raised him to treat women with respect. I ask him if his mama taught him to shout and curse at women the way he was shouting at me. He started to raise his left hand to slap me and I grabbed it. I shoved it and him back a half a step.
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I have been in more than a couple of fights in my life, both with guys and girls. I'm not a wuss. I have older brothers and I know how to fight. But PW punched me once, just once. He knocked me out cold. That one punch broke my nose, fractured my maxilla (upper jaw bone), knocked 2 teeth loose, and split my lip, requiring 7 stitches. The fall knocked me out for about 4 minutes, until EMS got there, and left me with a significant concussion.
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When I came to, I remembered everything. At first. By the time I got to the hospital, I was having problems. I couldn't remember the day or date or year or president or any of the other questions they ask you. I couldn't even remember how old I was. It was strange, though. I knew that I knew the answers. I just couldn't find them in my brain. It was freaky. I was there for a while, but they eventually released me.
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When I got back to the dorm, I was told that I needed to go see the campus police. I was not in very good condition, but went anyway. They kept me for 3 hours, interrogating me about the situation. When I explained that I had a concussion and needed to rest (I had been at the hospital all night), it just didn't matter. I had to write statements about the rape and the assault. I did, or tried to. My brain was still not working well. The police said that they were not going to press charges on the rape, because there were no witnesses. But that they would be in touch with me about the assault. They really wanted information about my friends that I was hanging out with off campus. They wanted to know their names and activities, but I didn't tell them anything. So eventually they gave up, let me go, and I wandered back to the dorm to get some rest.
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I had no clue what to do at that point. PW had disappeared, but I knew he could turn up at any point. I knew he still had a gun and a knife. But I was really close to finishing my degree. So I was leaning toward staying. I tried to get ahold of my off campus friends, but nobody was returning my calls. I really just wanted to rest anyway, so didn't worry about it too much.
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A guy that I had known since my freshman year knocked on my door. He was involved in the same sort of thing that my friends were, only he was "working" on campus. He and I were respectful toward one another, friendly, but not close. He asked if he could come in and talk to me. At first I said no. I actually said "F**k you! Hell no!!" I was scared. Of everyone. Then I looked at him and I looked in his eyes. I saw worry and concern behind his typical front. I let him in. He sat down and his front vanished. He spoke to me like an older brother. And his words saved my life. I truly believe that to this day.
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"Listen, I'll make this quick. P went to your crew (my off campus friends) and told them that you were at the police station and snitched on them and their business. P then came to me and my crew and told us the same d**n thing. Folks saw you walking back from the police and made their own connections. Girl, I know you better than that and I saw what he did to you. I know what he did before he beat the crap out of you too. I have a mama and two sisters and that sh** is ill. But you need to know what he is doing. He is setting you up. You need to get the f**k out of here now. Tonight.
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And I did. Thanks, Greg! I am convinced that Greg saved my life. I moved home with my family, and began to heal. That winter, I had my car accident and broke my neck - see my Second Life Changing Experience. I stayed away from school for a few years, until I knew that absolutely everyone I had associated with was gone. Then I went back and finished.
3 comments:
Wow. I'm sorry you had to go through that. But it's obviously made you a stronger woman.
Wow! What a shitty time! I guess what doesn't kill you makes you stronger......yeah that statement sucks, but it's true. I'm glad you came out of it, some never do.
Bri & Evil Lunch Lady - it is very true that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. The experience was bad, but has given me the ability to understand and relate to other victims on a level that many others can not.
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