Near Future Plans

Ok, now that I am feeling almost "normal" (for me) and am just about healed physically and emotionally, I am working on my goals. Now, don't get me wrong, the goal I am about to discuss is not new. It was my goal and plan before I married. That goal then changed and was put on hold, for many reasons. But it is time to begin anew.

I am preparing to have a child. I am preparing to have a child on my own, as a single mother. This does not mean that I am neglecting the importance of support, as I have friends and family that are supportive. Nor does it mean that I am neglecting the importance of a male influence in a child's life. Once again, I have friends and family.

We live in a society with an extremely high divorce rate and an extremely low marital satisfaction rate. A child is more likely to be psychologically healthy in a loving single parent home than in an unhappy/unstable dual parent home.

At 38, it is time for me to have a child. I am stable financially, emotionally (other than recent events), and am physically healthy. My biological clock has been ticking for years, but logic overruled. Now logic is aligned with my heart and soul. It is time to pursue a pregnancy.

So, where am I in this process? I have had clearance (physically) from my OBGYN. They are supportive of my decision. I spoke with my doctor and I agree that I really need to wait for a couple of months to ensure that my head injury has completely healed. But beyond that, he is supportive as well. In the meantime, I am tracking my ovulation and choosing a sperm bank to begin the paperwork process.

Until a couple of weeks ago, plans were that LC was going to be the father of my child. But I don't think it is a good idea at this point. It would add complications to an already complicated situation. Besides, he hasn't called me or sent a text in more than a week. So I am inclined to just let it go. I want to focus on myself and my healing right now anyway. LC and I will always have our friendship. But that's all.