I am anxious about going back to work. I shouldn't be (anxious). When I think logically, I know that I am good at my job. I am just about back to normal physically and emotionally. I work with folks that are very supportive. My employer held my job for almost 2 months to allow me time to heal from the most debilitating symptoms of the post concussive syndrome.
But there is a part of me that is panicked, freaked out at going back and resuming my job. This part of my brain is illogical and tries to convince me that I am not well enough and that I can't hack it. This part of my brain tells me that I can't do my job and will fail. I know where those words come from. They are not my words, but words that I have heard. The associated feelings, though, are mine. I have to take ownership of how I respond to those words.
So I try. But some nights it is difficult to focus on positive self talk, deep breathing, calming exercises. Tonight is one of those nights. The negativity leads to anxiety and, if I can't get it under control, will lead to a panic attack.