Sunday, October 26, 2008

anxiety...

I am anxious about going back to work. I shouldn't be (anxious). When I think logically, I know that I am good at my job. I am just about back to normal physically and emotionally. I work with folks that are very supportive. My employer held my job for almost 2 months to allow me time to heal from the most debilitating symptoms of the post concussive syndrome.
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But there is a part of me that is panicked, freaked out at going back and resuming my job. This part of my brain is illogical and tries to convince me that I am not well enough and that I can't hack it. This part of my brain tells me that I can't do my job and will fail. I know where those words come from. They are not my words, but words that I have heard. The associated feelings, though, are mine. I have to take ownership of how I respond to those words.
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So I try. But some nights it is difficult to focus on positive self talk, deep breathing, calming exercises. Tonight is one of those nights. The negativity leads to anxiety and, if I can't get it under control, will lead to a panic attack.

4 comments:

therapydoc said...

Always good to give work a shot. (I'm adding you to my blog roll, a positive thing, right?)

Life on Pause said...

Think about the little things. Look at like, the wall paper. Then the door. Then the piece of random paper on the desk. It usually helps me..

Laura said...

Thanks, therapydoc...I added you to mine as well!

Evil Transport Lady said...

Take your time, I have a good feeling about you going back to work. I think once you step foot into your job all will be good again:)